Letters from Igniza

Convey Meaning within Symbols

How “to Befriend”, not “Friend” to be Friends

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I wonder of what today’s “friend” is defined.

“Friend” can be either too ambiguous or vague to tell.

Suppose those who are your friends. And suppose they aren’t.

I would like to ask, what sort of friend is that person. Are they there? But no one can tell or should they?

The friendships are the circles is surrounded by a larger circle that is a world; however, these many small circles are very often overlapped. This is where I will draw the fine lines of friends.


NOUN 1. A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations; 1.1 (Used as a polite form of address or in ironic reference) an acquaintance or a stranger one comes across; 1.2 Archaic One’s close relatives; 1.3 A person who supports a cause, organization, or country by giving financial or other help; 1.4 A person who is not an enemy or opponent; an ally; 1.5 A familiar or helpful thing; 1.6 A contact on a social networking website.

VERB 1. informal Add (someone) to a list of friends or contacts on a social networking website; 2. archaic Befriend (someone)


VERB [with object] Act as or become a friend to (someone), especially when they are in need of help or support.

(Source from Oxford Dictionary)

As humans, we are intelligent and yet also cooperative beings. We grow to learn from each other. The having friends is a natural part of a healthy social life. Its the norm which we established over millenniums of human history. Our already constructed society we know is…well, I would say too convenient.

The modern friendship can very short these days. Or perhaps too shallow. There is such thing as “a friend for a day” or probably less. Ideally, friendships can last lifetimes. That is, if it is real…

Our word, “friend” recently evolved as a verb due to our era of technology. Its meaning has been broadened and received a newer yet informal meaning. You would understand this because of social network websites such as Facebook which use as a term to list people into contacts (as the above define). Because of this, this generation may have misconceived this word. Some might have believed “to friend” somebody through the internet is making a friend although they never encounter the real-life person.

If only people knew and those who read this, I want to reintroduce the word, “befriend”. I perceive that “to befriend” is approachable-sounding and it’s a hidden action phrase “to be a friend”. The act and becoming someone other than hiding behind a screen of pixels is rather genuine. Knowing that true and not supposed essence is there using all your senses.

Before we ever can act upon friendship, it is a building trust. Although we usually don’t bond with a complete stranger immediately; within time, familiarize ourselves with others. Another thing is between two or more friends is a common objective that is shared among these individuals. Factors do apply and is not determined whether if they’ll stay or not.

Anyone could understand that using a term “friend” is not only polite but acknowledged that the person is an assured existence. To have connections with people is networking for references. One person could obtain assorted information from more figures and sources from different directions. It is not a bad thing but, some so-called friendships are used merely for attaining desires.

For every person you meet, affinity always have a distinct standing from each other. I always call people who are only there for a brief time are “acquaintances”, they are neither stranger or friend. “Just a friend” is seemly too vague.  A “good friend” is a fitting name to call someone by. Some of which has an indication of an interest in common or represented such as a “computer friend”, “office friend”, “sports friend” and others, is meant for a purpose or goal; it may not always mean anything else otherwise. The only exceptions would be “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, if this relationship can to be a pair for a lifetime. For those we consider are “close friend” or “best friend” are the ones who known you for a long time and the secrets that is dearly told.

Not everyone give or has explicit details of every person they know or not; we cannot be sure. Meeting someone with known background doesn’t mean that you do know that person or that he/she is your friend. Every name is a clean slate that you’ll have to uncover.

Finding company is not difficult and it is easy to assume that person will become a friend. It is not up to your will whether these relationships will last. They come and go as the wind.

It is like “Getting to Know You” song (from ‘The King and I’ musical) that plays in my head. As cheery as it sounded, the excitement to learn never fails.

That is why, I ask to “befriend” and not “friend”. People are beings. They’re also the choices we live by and with. The people we choose are never right or wrong with no paves to follow.

“Friend” is for the modern coward. “Befriend” is for the timeless brave.

Author: Igniza

Just a freelanced and anonymous female writer with an oddity of interests and of such to write about.

One thought on “How “to Befriend”, not “Friend” to be Friends

  1. Pingback: Commute to Communicate with the Community | Letters from Igniza

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