Letters from Igniza

Convey Meaning within Symbols

Am I feeling Ambivalent or is the Ambivalence elsewhere?

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We are never be sure of our feelings entirely.

We know the names of basic emotion such as joy, sadness and anger. After we learned that these first feelings are easily distinguished, we discover the are more complicated ones that are blended combinations of two or more feelings. And yet, there are more that cannot be named, described or foreseen in a single word (or perhaps within one sentence or longer). When something happen, there can be responses that be varied but never the same. There is one word however that shares many feelings that differs each other and can occur in one time and place. It is also possible for opposing feelings can be in one person as well.


NOUN [mass noun] The state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.


ADJECTIVE Having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.

(Source from Oxford Dictionary)

As the title above states, it is ambivalence. I am feeling ambivalent of how I am trying to explain this. It is rather complicated because I am writing with conflicted feelings. There are things I want to share and yet reluctant. I do feel somewhat certain that what I write can be helpful or perhaps not. I believe you would understand the point over this free-writing, rambling thought (plus I wouldn’t bother to edit this because it is my thought). You might notice that I am having mixed feelings. but it doesn’t bother me for this occasion.

To like or love someone? Or perhaps hate someone? Or perhaps both at once?

Well…you probably already had. You can relate to this matter. Although there are people such as family and friends, there could be at least one negative aspect of a person you may dislike. Anyone who you are personal connected can also be the most obnoxious. Yet, we can’t expect everything or everyone to always make you feel good.

I think a little bit of annoyance is necessary. It would be a dash of spice in our daily drama.

Being ambivalent is neutral, it isn’t entirely bad. Although we cannot always agree, it is good to not agree. It shows how vast is our diversity and individuality is. We have different opinions where we choose to debate, then learn to comply, tolerate, surrender and even more improve our character and ideas.

There may be more things to compare regarding to my point. However, it depends on many variables. This is a rather mixed topic and there is no straight line but, understandable.

I am very sure of how I feel what I am writing. I try to make sense of my writing although there could be more. Seeing this makes me satisfied enough. Or maybe not?

Yet again, I am feeling ambivalent. Why wouldn’t I be?


Author: Igniza

Just a freelanced and anonymous female writer with an oddity of interests and of such to write about.

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