Letters from Igniza

Convey Meaning within Symbols


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Am I feeling Ambivalent or is the Ambivalence elsewhere?

We are never be sure of our feelings entirely.

We know the names of basic emotion such as joy, sadness and anger. After we learned that these first feelings are easily distinguished, we discover the are more complicated ones that are blended combinations of two or more feelings. And yet, there are more that cannot be named, described or foreseen in a single word (or perhaps within one sentence or longer). When something happen, there can be responses that be varied but never the same. There is one word however that shares many feelings that differs each other and can occur in one time and place. It is also possible for opposing feelings can be in one person as well.

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The Word, Eviscerate

Look deep inside, it just comes out. That is to eviscerate.

To “disembowel”. It doesn’t sound feasible.

Like “ex-” (I don’t mean the heartbroken word for a person), it is “out” in Latin. “-viscerate” came from the word viscus which is the “internal organ(s)”. I don’t know but it could be a medical term (if someone knows, tell me).

Do you understand this feeling? Someone who you might feel disdained by and couldn’t stand it.

The more to hold it back, the more it builds. It can make you ugly from the inside-out. The best description of that is, a gargoyle.

I know there are people who don’t let their emotion sway their logic but, “following you heart” makes all the difference. It is called being human. Sometimes, you need to express it out. Make it come out because it is good. Or perhaps bad. It could go either way but it is still a process. Process is growth.

Whether you are unhappy, sad, annoyed, angry or sort of negative feeling, get it out because you need to empty it. You can’t fill something if it’s already full. Like night and day, bad and good exist together; but not all at once.

This is not a hard decision to make for yourself. You have all the chances to become who you are. It no different from choosing right or wrong. You have to pick what is right, what is right for you.

Now, eviscerate. Get it out and make it, to let it out.

 


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Being Nervous, Explained by The Nerve of It

We have something to say and it is not always good. Yet, we couldn’t because we are nervous.

Well…I do have something to say. I have often felt nervous in numerous situations. There were times I get a writer’s block when I do feel nervous. I would be pressured to not be able to write something I like or want, or that I haven’t proof-read my work, or that people are judgmental. Perhaps as you read this, you could sympathize with me. At this moment as I am writing, I am nervous. I am using the thoughts of my insecurities and so on that drove myself into doing so now.

Nerve

NOUN 1. A whitish fibre or bundles of fibres in the body that transmits impulses of sensation to the brain or spinal cord, and impulses from these to the muscles and organs; 2. (one’s nerve or one’s nerves) One’s steadiness and courage in a demanding situation; 3. (nerves) Feelings of nervousness; 4. [mass noun] informal Impudence or audacity; 5. Botany  A prominent unbranched rib in a leaf, especially in the midrib of the leaf of a moss.

VERB Brace oneself mentally to face a demanding situation. Continue reading


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Motioning the Motion & Emotions

Everything moves.

Every being and system has its own movement in accordance. Everything participate as an ongoing ensemble. Each thing has a role to play in a never-ending story.

With movement, things are happening but what you cannot see is the feel of emotion.

I motion my hands to write what I feel. I do hope my inputted emotions in words can be motioned into you.

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Look to Captivate But Never Truly Captured

The places we seen, the times we witnessed and the things that were presently current. If we try to capture that, we all fear it will escape.

I thought of the all those powerful rulers of the past; the kings, queens, emperors, empresses, czars, sultans, dukes, duchesses and many people with claimed and born of nobility, fame and wealth. They have what I supposedly imagine; from gold to jewels, lands of lands to mountains, priceless treasures to exotic animals from afar. Today, these kind of people still exist.

You can understand as we were called lowly peasants or common folks, those are things that are usually unobtainable. But think again, you can get those things. The reasons we think we cannot, is that it is only subjective and we are born into different situations of values including morals. However if you live in poverty, the chances of those dreams are almost to none; but then I didn’t say impossible. I will remind to say that someone can come from “rags to riches”.
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Love to Swing It?! Be Swung or Either-Or Swinger?

Life will be shaken by Mother Nature. The Earth would move and crack. Everything around us only goes in one direction. The laws given to live in this cycle of life is never broken.

However life has lifestyles of choice, some of which can go to different directions. But then if you consider love-life, it can be a swing. Just like the swing you sit in a playground. Although it may be a childish example but if you can relate how life is moving and never still. You could sit on it alone and you have a choice to stay still or sway it; yet you can never get the full excitement of it unless someone gives a push of what it brings. Continue reading